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Episode 6 | May 24, 2022

Boundaries & Consent - Preventing Sexual Violence

Taylr Ucker-Lauderman and Caitlin Burke from the Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence on ways to help prevent sexual violence.


Welcome to “That’s a Hard No” – the podcast about saying no and setting boundaries so you can become the authentic and empowered you that this world needs.

Reminder: While Sarah is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, this podcast is in no way replacement for one-on-one therapy with a mental health professionalIf you are struggling with mental health issues, we welcome you on this journey, but also invite you to seek out professional help.

Looking for a therapist? Here’s a good place to start:

Our Guests
  • Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence (OAESV) – serves as Ohio’s rape crisis coalition. We provide the main training and technical assistance for rape crisis centers.
  • Taylr Ucker- Lauderman(she/her), Chief Officer of Communications & Engagement at OAESV
  • Caitlin Burke (she/her), Director of Prevention & Public Health at OAESV
Key Takeaways
  • Boundaries and consent go hand-in-hand. It’s not just about setting boundaries but also receiving them. We have to respect others’ boundaries and we expect others to respect ours.
  • Establishing Consent & Conversations – How do we breach these topics? When should we have them?
    • Prevention programs often work with young people, starting early is best case scenario. This does not have to be about intimacy, but about our bodies, space, and needs.
    • Value in starting early on and finding age-appropriate materials that can help communicate about boundaries and what consent means
    • Breaching the topic should be prioritized by an adult and discussing before it becomes a conversation since something did happen
  • Warning Signs and How To Respond
    • Bullying/Cyberbullying – Many anti-bullying campaigns, but recognizing this in your own children as well
    • Violence in General –
      • Our society often has ways that some small behaviors are ignored. Our policies and judicial/medical/corporate systems all allow a space for these minor biases that can lead to sexual violence. Sexist behaviors, racially fueled ‘jokes’, etc.
      • Being ‘nice’ or staying quiet creates a dangerous environment.
  • Standing Firm (and the Reality that Follows) – Unfortunately, sometimes standing firm in our boundaries does cause backlash. Asserting boundaries especially as a marginalized person may result in something negative happening.
    • If the ability to assert boundaries isn’t available, to give yourself grace to find ways to begin recovery.
    • Practice saying things out loud – saying no, using the proper terminology for body parts
  • Policies – While it’s extremely valuable to be a a supportive and safe adult, enviornment is extremely important.
    • We need to be supported by schools, government, workplaces.
      • Where do students/employees go when they need help?
      • How will they get the care and time off they need?
  • Supporting the Aftermath – Listen. If someone has the courage to speak with you about something that happened to them, feel honored.
    • Don’t question what happened, but can ask “How can I support you?”
    • Trauma can cause some confusion, just believe them
    • Don’t pretend to understand
    • Have a basic understanding of where to access support
  • Future Action – To take an anti-oppression approach to the future. Taking away the societal expectations for people due to their gender, sexuality, race or otherwise.
    • Actively practicing and reevaluating your personal boundaries. It is a learned skill that needs to continue to be exercised.
Where to Find the Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence
Credits and Thanks