Episode 54 | February 8, 2023
Our book club roundtable discusses "Just Do Nothing" by Joanna Hardis, we take a deep dive with friends and colleagues Jenn Prochaska and Jen Bauer.
In our "Just Do Nothing" book club roundtable we discuss everything we learned and loved from friend Joanna Hardis' book. Listen in for laughter and banter!
Welcome to “That’s a Hard No” – the podcast about learning to say no and set boundaries to live our best lives.
Follow along with me as we learn from fellow strugglers and experts, so that you too can start saying no without feeling fear, guilt, or FOMO.
This book club roundtable was spent discussing “Just Do Nothing: A Paradoxical Guide to Getting Out of Your Way” by Joanna Hardis. Friends and colleagues Jenn Prochaska, The Write Difference, and Jen Bauer, Joop Art Studio join us to discuss getting comfortable with distress and making changes.
The Book: “Just Do Nothing” by Joanna Hardis
“I found myself whipping through this because I just found it very endearing and relatable and like who hasn’t had some of these weird, awkward relationship things happen.”
[00:02:43] The Book is a Story
- Feels very personal and makes it easier to relate to
- Not a clinical self help book
[00:07:10] The Premise of “Just Do Nothing”
- We avoid feelings of discomfort, sit with these feelings – take them in
- Not every negative/uncomfortable/boring emotion needs to be dug into or searched for relief
- Pushing past some boundaries and start small
- Includes bite size distress intolerance exercises
“embrace the suck”
[00:09:02] Realizing Personal Anxiety & Self Awareness
- This is not just a book for those struggling with anxiety
- Realizing goals and capabilities
- Becoming comfortable in things that could cause resentment
- Recognizing what is an appropriate accomplishment is for the season of life you’re in
- Intentionally recognize the feeling you’re having
[00:14:04] Don’t Get Caught Up in the “Why”
- This can often lead down a rabbit hole or obsessive thoughts
- It’s okay to briefly explore thoughts or feelings but you want to be able to actively exit these moments rather than ruminate
- “Why”, very often, does not matter
- Reflexes that we fall back on can be the problem
- Every person’s experience is different, there is not way to remove feelings/anxiety fully, it’s how we deal with the feelings
“Well, it’s like the zoom out, zoom in thing where she talks about, you know, sometimes you have to take a step back and look at it differently. And then other times you have to hyper focus on something.”
[00:16:35] The Mess of Life
- Understanding that life will have hard days, big feelings, anxiety
- Trying not to compare to the “perfect lives” of those on the internet/social media
- These are created narratives
- There is no catch all answer
- Being a human being is hard and you are not guaranteed to feel good all the time
- Embracing the imperfections
“Sometimes life sucks. Absolutely. Being a human being is hard and we’re not guaranteed to feel happy all the time.”
[00:18:45] How We Talk To Ourselves
- We often tell ourselves stories, or talk ourselves out of things
- Begin to find awareness of the conversations you have with yourself
- Give yourself a pass, or create a persona
- “Fake it ‘til you make it”
- Building the muscle to better self talk
[00:22:30] Ducks in a Row
- You get your ducks in alignment by creating boundaries and not feeling like everything needs to be perfectly right in order to move forward
- Start doing things in order to get comfortable in a difficult space
[00:24:43] Resistance Behaviors
- Avoiders and People Pleasers – those who want to avoid conflict and will forget their personal opinions to appease others
- Why am I being copasetic?
- Is it chronic?
- Are you giving in without considering your feelings?
- Crowd Sourcers and Reassurance Seekers – people who question themselves and are always looking for another or many other opinions to make a decision
- Heavily on social media
- This can be very difficult to be close to, can feel very dependent and repetitive
- Comfort Zoners – people are weighed down by the pain of staying the same has not outweighed the pain of change
- Even understanding the repercussions, still is not strong enough
- Numb Outers – Finding an outlet to push the pain or discomfort away
- This can be shopping, video games, binging food, etc.
- Dumbo’s Feather Holders – Believing that certain items or organizations will make it all happen
- Procrastinators – People who put things off or do them at the last minute
- Compulsive Self Helpers – Trying new things, making a change a certain day for exciting self help ideas and it almost never lasts
- Good Vibes Only – Toxic positivity; saying that doing it all is possible
“Yeah, I mean, of course, I’ll be fine. But like, can we just be okay with being sad right now?”
- Optimizers – avoid things being uncomfortable by optimizing everything in their life
- Organizing everything
- “Everything must be perfect”
- Micromanagers – Trying to control all the pieces of a project, relationship, or anything
- Wishful Thinkers – “If only things were this way, I would be happy”
- Gratitude can help shake you from this
“Oh, yeah. There are times when in my life where I don’t want to get out of bed because I’m just imagining how life should be.”
Where to Find Our Jen’s
- Jenn Prochaska, The Write Difference –thewritedifference.com
- Jen Bauer, Joop Art Studio – joopartstudio.com
Where to Find Joanna Hardis
Credits and Thanks
- Many thanks to our friends and families (our “villagers”) for listening, and for your continued support.
- That’s a Hard No is a production of Clever Girl Marketing
- Marketing and Production Coordinator, Maura Del Rosario
- Production Support, Evergreen Podcasts, Noah Foutz, Producer
- New Rock Anthem Music: Written by Noah, and performed by his band, The Big Leagues
- Videographer, Kae Holmberg