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EpisodesGuest InterviewSeason 3

Is This Going to End Well?: Empowering Kids with ADHD

Episode 70 | June 25, 2024

Maria Duroseau, pediatrician, parent, and author talks with us about parenting neurodivergent children, the ADHD experience for our kids, and how to best support them. Maria reminds us to recognize the child as they are not as we imagine them to be.

This episode breaks down the stereotypes of ADHD and discusses ways to learn to understand the difficulties our children may experience or struggle with, in order to better parent them, educate them, and empower them.

INTRO

Welcome to “That’s a Hard No”the podcast about learning to say no and set boundaries to live our best lives. 

Follow along with me as we learn from fellow strugglers and experts, so that you too can start saying no without feeling fear, guilt, or FOMO. 

 

SHOW NOTES
Maria Duroseau is a pediatrician, children’s book author, and parenting coach who believes parents becoming the best version of themselves is one of the best gifts they can ever give to their children. She was born and raised in Zambia before she immigrated to the US where she became a physician.  She is very passionate about supporting and enhancing parenting skills through her learned experience. As a parent to a neurodivergent child and a pediatrician supporting many children with ADHD and their parents she prioritizes educating people on the ADHD experience.
Key Takeaways

“There’s nothing wrong with you or your diagnosis or your kid. It’s just the way that you or they are.”

[00:07:45] ADHD Stereotypes and Misconceptions

[00:10:41] Understanding ADHD Struggles Empathetically

“I can never get it right. I can never get it right. And everybody expects me to be able to get it right. And I can never get it right.”

[00:13:31] Executive Function Disorder

  • Behavioral Challenges: Children with ADHD often face difficulties with self-regulation, impulse control, and decision-making. Understanding that these challenges stem from deficits in executive function can help parents empathize with their child’s struggles.
  • Setting Realistic Expectations: Acknowledging that a child with ADHD may lag behind in certain executive function skills compared to peers can assist parents in setting achievable expectations. For instance, a child may excel in one area but struggle in another due to the delay in executive function.
  • Tools and Strategies: Maria recommends providing external support for executive function to help children with ADHD manage daily tasks. For example, using visual cues like timers or visual schedules can aid children in effectively organizing their time and activities.
  • Communication with Others: Parents can educate teachers, caregivers, and peers about ADHD as an executive function disorder. By explaining their child’s challenges and the most effective strategies, parents can promote understanding and support from others.
  • Empowering the Child: Educating children with ADHD about their diagnosis and equipping them with tools to address their executive function challenges can empower them to advocate for themselves. Simple techniques like using a “turtle” signal to slow down and assess their actions can help children regulate themselves.

“He’s so smart. He’s so able to do these things. Why can’t he do this? Why can’t he do that?”

[00:20:37] Parenting the Actual Child vs Imagined Child

“I always tell parents, you will always fail at parenting the imagined.”

[00:24:52] Time Management & Setting Boundaries for Neurodivergent Children

“The first thing I always like to say when talking about boundaries is to get a good understanding of what a boundary is.”

[00:29:17] Accepting Our Children as They Are (Letting Go of Embarrassment)

“Are you truly accepting your kid for who they are if you’re embarrassed out in the world with them? Or have you truly accepted? Or is it we’re just so worried about shame and what other people think?”

[00:32:03] Communicating ADHD to Others

[00:38:02] ADHD in the School System

“Our public school system is about memorization and standardized testing. There’s no critical thinking. There’s no learning how to learn, learning how to think for yourself, analyze what’s out in the world and like piece things together.”

[00:44:40] Supporting Children’s Growth & Development

“Well, I’m glad. You know, I always am rooting for the kids. I want them to do their best. And I think we have opportunities as the adults in their lives to really scale ourselves. So anytime I have a chance to share and teach whatever I can, I’m happy to do it.”

Find Maria’s Book Here: Is This Going to End Well? by Maria Duroseau
Where to Find Maria
Credits and Thanks
  • Many thanks to our friends and families (our “villagers”) for listening, and for your continued support.
  • That’s a Hard No is a production of Clever Girl Marketing
  • Marketing and Production Coordinator, Maura Del Rosario
  • Production Support, Evergreen Podcasts, Noah Foutz, Producer
  • New Rock Anthem Music: Written by Noah, and performed by his band, The Big Leagues
  • Videographer, Kae Holmberg