Episode 55 | February 13, 2023
Chantal Landreville, author and relationship coach, joins us to talk about opening yourself up to love, especially during the Valentine's season.
Listen in as we talk boundaries about love, relationships, and connection. We explore what it's like looking for it, not finding it, missing it, and more.
Welcome to “That’s a Hard No” – the podcast about learning to say no and set boundaries to live our best lives.
Follow along with me as we learn from fellow strugglers and experts, so that you too can start saying no without feeling fear, guilt, or FOMO.
Chantal Landreville, certified relationship coach and author, who struggled with “having it all” and finding balance in love outside of all other life successes. She was thriving in her career, friendships, finances and more but couldn’t seem to find her right match. Listen as she discusses finding joy in her relationships.
- Learning to love ourselves first
- Is there a good time to look for love?
- Self love is the most valuable, creates the ability to share love
- The importance of respect and honoring yourself
- You will always have you
- A good relationship should enhance your life
“There is a good time for you to find love with yourself at any given time.”
[00:06:12] Dating trends for 2024
- We are all on the quest to have deep meaningful connection, however people are more afraid than ever to open up
- Choosing vulnerability – relinquishing some control
- Invest time in others to truly get to know them and develop a more personal connection
- Quality can only exist with openness
[00:10:28] Finding activities you love
- Where you thrive is where you are your best self
- Be open minded within activities, they may not lead to your match, but they can still create friendships that could lead you there
- Find your comfort zone but still doing things
- You can meet someone anywhere anytime, be present where you are
- Discovering things you may love that may lead you to other things you love
- Push yourself to find community
[00:14:29] Self-awareness in relationships
- Self love is understanding yourself
- Understanding why and how you show up in a relationship
- We can only share with others when we can clearly communicate these to our partners
- Not giving what is left over, but giving our best self to our partners
- Focus on the solution to your behaviors – currently and on a consistent basis
- Be gentle and kind as your partner finds pieces of themselves
- Working on being an active listener
“I want to give the best of me, not the rest of me.”
[00:23:19] Loneliness surrounding Valentine’s Day
- It’s ok to be sad and sit in your grief
- Change your relationship – Valentine’s Day is the day OF love
- This can be about platonic love, love of the outdoors, find ways to celebrate things and activities you enjoy
- We are experiencing love in a multitude of ways
- Could also celebrate yourself
- Recognizing that “stuff” isn’t the only way to spread love or celebrate
“There’s a lot of different ways to love.”
[00:35:37] Communication your needs
- Clearly state what you want
- Your partner cannot read your mind
- Try not to create expectations, especially without spelling out what you want
- Remember your partner, their capabilities, their strengths
- Accept what matters to your partner
- Take ownership of what is important to you
[00:35:37] Getting clear on what you want
- Get out there, practice makes perfect
- Get clarity on what you do and don’t want
- Take the time to figure out what you really want and also what you NEED
- How do you want to grow and evolve in your relationship?
- These aren’t necessarily shallow characteristics, this is what you want long term
- Give recognition and gratitude when it is due, and give it truly/freely
- Consider your values
- Observe yourself
- Am I repeating what I don’t want?
- Am I being myself?
- Am I enjoying this?
[00:39:10] Calling out bad behavior
- Speak our truth, call them out
- Being true to yourself
- Try to enjoy – this shouldn’t be work
- See the journey as an experience that helps lead you where you want to go
- Give yourself freedom to say no
- Don’t compromise yourself
Where to Find Chantal
‘Raise Your Love Signal’ available February 14th, pre-order here.
Credits and Thanks
- Many thanks to our friends and families (our “villagers”) for listening, and for your continued support.
- That’s a Hard No is a production of Clever Girl Marketing
- Marketing and Production Coordinator, Maura Del Rosario
- Production Support, Evergreen Podcasts, Noah Foutz, Producer
- New Rock Anthem Music: Written by Noah, and performed by his band, The Big Leagues
- Videographer, Kae Holmberg